People. You know the ones I’m talking about. The People who cut you off when you’re driving, the ones who get in the express line with more than 10 items, or don’t acknowledge you for holding the door open... Or the one who is constantly pressing his knees into your backside on the plane. (Let me clear up any misconceptions that it is some poor bloke who rivals Andre the Giant. Trust me; this guy could be Billy Barty’s slightly taller younger brother.) The People who – in general – don’t think the rules apply to them. How many times in a day do we shake our heads and think ‘People!’ Of course, none of us are that type of People right? Well, I can’t speak for everyone but I can honestly say that I am – without a doubt – NOT one of those. People that is. I like to think I’m not your average ‘it’s all about me’ type People. In fact, I’m going to state unequivocally that I am the rarest of People. The kind that remembers I am not the only person on this planet so it is rarely, if at all, about me.
Okay need to rant about something just for a moment... think of it as a commercial... I know that we, as people have lost some of our ability to communicate due to the convenience of technology. Spell check is one. But, I ask you, how do you look up a word you don’t know how to spell? [Note: it occurred to me to try Google and you know what? Google is a much better guesser than spell check – awesome!]
Where was I? Oh yeah, it’s coming back to me (the knees in the back are a great reminder). So I wonder when ...
... I’ll get around to finishing this blog. I started this on a Qantas flight from Sydney to Melbourne back on 30 September. A lifetime ago.
Fast forward to today, 17 October. While I was playing dodge the People [those who do not stay on the left-hand side of the sidewalk] I was reminiscing about People in Australia and remembered I never finished this blog. It’s about time that I did.
Anyway, I hate to break it to you, but Australians are People too! It is annoying to hear stories about Ugly Americans from a group of people that generally, are no better – in fact, I’d argue they are sometimes worse – than Americans. Of course, you will think I’m biased. Mind you this is coming from someone who thinks People are annoying regardless of race, sex, ethnicity, gay or straight, fat or skinny, tall or short [you get the picture] so rest assured it is coming from someone who does not discriminate! The three bad habits of Aussies are in no particular order: they do no hold the door open (and if you hold it for them, they do not acknowledge), they do not clean up after themselves, and they don’t keep to the left unless they are driving. So while I agree there are Ugly Americans, lest us forget there are Ugly Aussies (Kiwis, Brits, Canadians, etc.) as well. We Americans aren’t like all the idiots on TV and I admit there are some really, really bad mannered representatives of the US on reality shows (most of which I refuse to watch) but even the best one – The Amazing Race – has had its fair share of dumb asses who shout at Chinese cab drivers when they don’t speak English. HELLO! You are in CHINA. They speak CHINESE. You need to learn CHINESE; they do not need to learn ENGLISH to speak to a stupid American in their own country! Get it? They obviously don’t because every season it happens to some poor cab driver who doesn’t have a clue why they are yelling at him. Hmm... I guess I can understand why the world thinks of us as Ugly afterall.
On the other hand, Aussie dogs – they are the best behaved dogs in the world. I have yet to have one jump on me, sniff me, or hump my leg. The do not bark and they mind their master. And they are rarely on a leash! Too bad the children don’t listen as well (as witnessed earlier today on the tram when a mum told her daughter to leave her coat on, not once, not twice, but at least five times. Of course, she removed her coat and it fell to the floor and was kicked and stepped on. Gee, mom does know best!
I know what you’re probably thinking... I waited for weeks for this?! Is this the best you can do? And the answer is yes.
