I Love a Parade! The March of the Penguins

The last bucket list item

I did it, I actually did it! I made a bucket list of things to do whilst I was back in Australia and I was able to check off every single item. So what, you say? Big deal, you think? Well, it is. The first six months I did exactly nothing on my list. Sure, I did an odd outing here or there but I was completely focused on the job at hand. Maybe because I was here previously on holiday and had done all the touristy things you do on a vacation. Maybe it was because I was focused on the job at hand but the results were ‘all work and no fun’ for me. Just long days (and nights) of work. For this reason, I knew that I needed to make the most of my last stint down under.   

 Saturday was a day I had been looking forward to as much as the Great Ocean Road. We purchased tickets a good month in advance to go see the Penguin Parade at Phillip Island. Bob Miller, co-founder of Miller Heiman told me about it last year saying it was one of the most memorable things he's ever done (trust me when I say this man has done a lot of things!) so you might even say this was the reason I made a list of things to see and do in the first place.

In addition to the seeing the penguins, you also received entry into several other attractions around the island. We took off from Melbourne around 10:45 and started to make our way into the surrounding countryside. Of course, we had to make a few pit stops before we were even out of the suburbs – snacks, drinks, and the all important bathroom break. The conversation between Denise and her husband Joe was classic. Denise – “What do you mean you have to go? Why didn’t you go at the car rental place?” Joe – “I didn’t have to go then.” Carol and I just snickered from the back seat. This would be the first of several amusing exchanges as Joe chauffeured us to our destination. Poor guy had not one, but three female backseat drivers (technically four if you counted the navigation system which spoke with a strong female Aussie accent. Joe got so annoyed with it he had Denise turn the voice off after 10 kilometres). So you had to give him props as it is not easy to have backseat drivers when you are driving on the left-hand side of the road from the right-hand side of the car where everything is backwards. Let’s just say we had the cleanest windshield as he continually pushed the wrong lever when attempting to use the turn signal.

So cute!

First let me say it was a gorgeous day; a day that Goldilocks would have enjoyed – not too hot, not too cold – just right! Our first stop (that wasn’t for food, drinks or bathroom) was the Koala Conservatory. We entered through the gift shop and immediately started looking at the goodies. I quickly found a shirt (like I need another Australia shirt but whatever) and the most adorable stuffed koala (I know what you’re thinking and again I say what.ev.er!). So I decide which items I will purchase afterwards and reluctantly put my koala back on the shelf. But then I notice that Denise is making a purchase so I grab the exact koala I want and shirt and head to the register. I then spot something for Maddy which makes me look for something for Jameson and you know how that goes. Denise says go ahead so the three patiently wait whilst I buy more stuff that I didn’t need. Joe was debating about a tee shirt but had decided to wait until afterwards. Then it was another conversation about whether or not the one XL would still be there so Joe decides not to wait so he gets in line to buy it. Then we had to go back to the car. Then we thought we’d better use the restrooms. Then it was applying bug spray. Geesh, reminded me of the days when we were kids and travelling with the family.

Mother and baby

Finally, we get our act together to actually go see the Koalas. We wandered out through the pathways to the koala viewing areas. They build boardwalks high enough that you can actually see the cute little buggers. They have a tendency to be up high so from the ground they can be hard to see. Of course, they spend 20 hours a day sleeping so you have to consider yourself lucky if you find them awake. It was our lucky day as not only were several awake, we got up close and personal with a mom and her baby. Both were awake and hanging out on a branch just above the walkway. The look so cute and cuddly you are tempted to pet them but there are strict rules about touching them as they are wild and not used to being handled by humans (so they say but after viewing countless photos of the koalas being held by rangers and such I had to wonder). However, they do have very mean looking claws to hang on to trees and also know to bite to defend themselves. We had to be satisfied with being as close as you could be to a koala in the ‘wild.’ As we were circling around trying to get the best shot, the baby continually dropped pellets so you had to be very wary of walking directly underneath. We let Joe take the hits as he was the tallest and could get really good shots. Well, in theory because like children, they tend to turn their heads around so you miss the best pictures. In addition, we saw several birds, wallabies and fortunately no copper snakes. One can get a little paranoid when you see signs all over warning you to be on the lookout for snakes and you remember Australia has several snakes and spiders you don’t want to tangle with. You must remain wary at all times and not be crawling around in the grass trying to feed a wallaby (Joe!).

Churchill Island

Our next stop was Churchill Island, another island (duh!) connected to Philip Island by a one lane bridge. It is a working heritage farm established in the early 1800’s. It wasn’t nearly as exciting as the koalas but was very scenic and worth the effort of going. Joe, as it turns out, is a huge animal person and wants to take home every one of them. It also meant stopping and visiting every animal. It was your typical farm with horses, sheep, ducks, chickens, pigs, sheep, and turkeys. We had intended to have lunch but the cafe was closed by the time we arrived so we didn’t stick around much more than an hour as we were all pretty hungry at this point. We headed back up the road and stopped at a pub close to the koala place. We look at the menu and decide it is a good choice only to find out they weren’t serving for another 45 minutes. Sigh.

Carol, Denise and Joe

Back to the car we go and then decided just to go to the Penguin Parade site knowing there would be a cafe. But you guessed it, they weren’t serving yet either for 45 more minutes. But wait! Do I see yet another gift shop? Oh my, it’s a BIG one! [Insert big smile here]  Might as well browse and get goodies we don't need before having what would now be dinner. And yes, I bought another shirt (too cute to pass up) and a couple of small things for the kiddos. We traipsed back to the car (we decided to park in the farthest car park and the last parking slot thinking this would be the ideal location for a quick getaway at the end of the night) and back again to the cafe for food. Whilst the food was mediocre at best, it was food and it filled us up (and rather inexpensive for Australia and a tourist spot). Next on the itinerary was a film of the tiny creatures we’d come so far to see and on to the displays and information as the monitors showed the countdown to sunset and the main event: 20:48 (or 8:48 pm). I assumed the penguins were in getting ready for their nightly show and hopefully had set their watches so they wouldn’t arrive too early or too late. We ventured outside and started chatting with a rather cute park ranger named David. After awhile, he suggested a stroll along the back boardwalk before meeting out guide at 8pm. So we start to meander around and spot more wallabies (I forgot to mention these are smaller kangaroos earlier but you probably already know that) and the hundreds of burrows where the penguins make their home (both penguin and man-made). We arrive back at the building to discover the door is locked. [Insert explicative here]. Five minutes until meeting time and it was a 8 minute walk or better. Carol hands me her stuff and takes off running with me close behind her and Denise and Joe bringing up the rear, cursing David all the way. We all made it back on time with a sheepish David apologising profusely for the error (he didn’t realise the back door was locked). He was such a nice (good looking) bloke you had to forgive his error. He handed us over to our guide, another David (not as cute and married anyway). Once the group had gathered (all 10 of us – two people were late and I won’t tell you their nationality or I could be accused of stereotyping), he handed each of us a seat, binoculars, and a headset.

Penguin Parade (from website - no photos allowed)

We began our tour with the usual background and information about the littlest penguins in the world. At one time there were 12 colonies on the tiny island but when the British came, one of the blokes decided he wanted to go fox hunting so he had some brought over from the UK and they all but decimated the population of penguins. The one pocket that was spared was due to the remote location and managed to outfox the fox and persevere. In fact, the land around the colony was bought back by the government to make it a sanctuary and ensure the penguins continue to do what they’ve done for centuries. Finally, it was almost dark and we headed to the beach. It was great to be able to pass all the people in the stands and go front and centre for the best viewing. So we sit and wait. Fortunately, it wasn’t long before we spot 4 penguins coming out of the surf to the left of us. Everyone is in awe as they ride the surf to shore and look about before waddling up the shore. This is where they are most vulnerable from prey, even in the darkness. The penguins have keen eyesight at night and the colouring helps camouflage them as they make their way home. As we were looking to either side, an individual penguin pops up directly in front of us. It scurries straight for us and then stops. We all freeze; it is looking at us and we are looking at the penguin. It seems confused. The entire time the ranger is warning us to be still and not touch it. Eventually, I had to put the binoculars down because it was too close. It came within 6 inches of our outstretched legs. I held my breath; part of me wanting it to come up closer but part of me wanting it to turn and follow the others. Finally, it figured out where to go and waddled by us to join the general population. The ranger told us we were very fortunate as that happens three to four times a year. What? Me lucky? Take that, Murphy! For once, I did get to experience something remarkable. Sounds like a small thing but it was amazing to see one so close and personal.

Little Penguin

David then escorted up to the private viewing area where we got to witness traffic on the penguin super highway. This is a sandy path where hundreds walk buy on the way home from the office. There little legs are on average 6 millimetres long and for them, the commute would be equivalent to a human walking from Melbourne to Philip Island (around 150 kilometres). They stop periodically and look at us while we look at them. They sing to each other and to us and you can’t help but wonder what they think of the million tourists who come to watch them annually. We hang around until around 9:45. It starts to sprinkle and we have a 2 hour drive so we reluctantly head back to the car. There are several signs warning you to look under your vehicle before driving away as the penguins can be in the parking lot. We forgot to do this but luckily there was no tell-tale thump as we drove away.

Back to Melbourne we go in the dark and in the rain. Poor Joe was exhausted and it was hard to see where to go. The navigation unit kept giving us directions via the toll road which we could not use. There are no coin operated toll booths so if you didn’t have an electronic pass you had to drive on the ‘free’ motorway. I finally got out the trusty iPhone to ensure we were going the right way.

This was truly one of the most amazing things I’ve ever seen. Most of what I’ve seen and done are man-made marvels, such as standing on The Great Wall of China or standing on top the Eiffel Tower but this has to be the top of the awe inspiring sights that nature has to offer (Great Barrier Reef is a close second). So I’m happy to say I can cross that off the bucket list. Now all I can say is ... Next?

Peeking inside a burrow

Joe and Denise

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Penguin Boardwalk

Burrows (nests dug by the males)

Wallaby

You Might as Well Relax... You're Going to Be Here for Awhile.

Wait... shouldn't that be awhilst? If while is whilst, then why isn't awhile awhilst? So why did we [Americans] change the Queen's English anyway? Was it simply out of rebellion or did we find the extra vowels to be unnecessary? Color verses colour. And what on earth do they have against 'z?' What did 'z' do to them? (BTW, they pronounce 'z' as 'zed' instead of 'zee'). Makes me wonder about Song of the South and Zip-a-dee-doo-da? Is it sung "Zed-a-dee-doo-da" instead? That just doesn't sound right. 


And there I go, off on another tangent. 


Tonight was one of the few times I went out to dinner alone. Usually there is someone around to eat with or I choose not to eat dinner (no lectures, please). There is something about eating a meal alone at a restaurant. Those who travel for business are probably used to it but that doesn't make it fun. I decided to go to an Italian restaurant and sit outside where I can people watch for entertainment. And thus begins my evening...


Eating is an event in Australia. If dining in a restaurant, you can count on a 2 to 3 hour meal. See the wait staff does not work for tips. They are well paid. Good on them but not so good for you. Oh, they will seat you right away, bring you a drink and take your order. They'll even bring your food in a timely manner. But after that, you are pretty much on your own. Good luck getting your check. Just trying to get someone's attention can be laborious at best. I suppose this is another one of those "stop and smell the roses moments" that we, as Americans, tend to ignore. Get in, sit down, slam it down, pay and move on. That's the American way, right? Maybe this is why we get the 'gollywobbles' as my mother used to call them. 


At any rate, I get to Olivo and find the place empty except for 5 other patrons. Normally, this would not be a good sign at a restaurant but it is only 4:30 so it is not the normal dinner time. In fact, they were still serving the lunch specials. Perfect. As expected, I am taken to a table and she returns almost immediately to take my order. Soon my Coke Zero is served followed by my garlic bread and spaghetti. Since there is no one to talk to, it doesn't take me long to finish my meal. Then it happens. The earth opened up and swallowed the waitress or an alien spaceship swooped in and took her to study her brain. Seriously, she was no where to be found. Patience, I told myself. What's the hurry? So I go back to people watching. Trouble is, there wasn't a whole lot of people to watch. And the ones I saw were mostly smoking. Just keep walking, nothing to see here and I don't want to smell your smoke. No offence. 


Yep, that's about all the patience I could muster (5 minutes. Maybe 3. Okay, so it was maybe 1. Whatever. Like you're perfect!). Sigh. I stood up and looked around. This place was empty. There was one bloke behind the bar so I headed over. And he turns around and walks into the back. So I wait. And wait. And wait. I go back to my table and think if I'm patient for a bit longer I will be awarded. Yeah, right. That didn't happen either. After an eternity of 15 minutes, I was finally blessed by an appearance from the waitress. She wanted to know if I were finished. She wasn't the brightest bulb in the ceiling as my plate was in the furtherest corner with the napkin and silverware all tucked nice and neatly on top. You would think the crease in my forehead from sleeping on the table would be another clue but whatever. And then a real conundrum... do I or do I not want dessert. YIKES! Of course, I want dessert after all I am in possession of the infamous dessert gene that has plagued my family for many generations. (Okay, I don't know that for a fact but I suspect it given my family's penchant for sweet things that cannot be a coincidence.) Giving into the temptation would mean at least another 30 minutes of meal time and I was ready to move on. But still, could I really resist? Then it came to me. Ice cream! Of course! I don't need to eat dessert in a stinking restaurant! I can stop and get rhubarb ice cream on the way back. Dilemma, shlemma. Problem solved, checque please! She started to leave when I handed her my credit card. Fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice... my mom didn't raise a fool. I was ready to pay before she even left the ticket. I want out of here. It's one thing to drag out meal time with a friend or colleague, completely not an option by myself. So in record time of 90 minutes, I was out of there and on my way to Movenpick for two scoops of rhubarb ice cream. Yes, I said rhubarb and it is delicious. 


Even worse than the wait is the price. It is unbelievably expensive in this fine city. I am grateful daily that I am here on business. The cost of food is high. Whilst fast food is more reasonable (but seriously, who wants to exist on that?), eating in a restaurant is costly. A typical meal at a cafe will set you back $25 to $30 (at home this meal would be $10 to $15). Needless to say, I don't eat at high end places often. Usually, it is when I am eating with the client or other colleagues who have a preference for a good meal. Me, I'm not so picky (or I am picky which is why I prefer the plain Jane meal verses a gourmet dining experience). But hey, at least you don't have to worry about leaving a large tip!

Get In, Sit Down, Hold On and Shut Up!

Watson Bay

One of the many things I love about being in Australia is not driving. No stress, no hassle, "leave the driving to us" type motto. Well, in theory anyway. The no stress part has been tested a few times, tonight being no exception. Carol and I went back to Doyles for dinner and watch the sunset over Sydney and the harbour. After a particularly hot day (and can I just mention it was snowing like crazy back at home which made it that much more sweet), we decided to make our way over to Watson Bay and enjoy the beach before our dinner reservation. 

We had taken the ferry over however since the last ferry was at 7pm and it was now close to 9pm, we had to grab a taxi back to the city. Unfortunately, there is not taxi rank in the suburbs so we wandered back to the restaurant to have someone call for a cab. Our waiter has someone ring for a taxi and then he instructed us to sit at our table until it arrived. We mentioned that we would be happy to wait elsewhere and he said no, we must wait at our table. After sitting at this table for a few hours it wasn't exactly what I had in mind but he insisted so back we went and sat at our table still filled with our dirty dishes. [Insert exasperated sign here] It felt like an eternity but finally the waiter waved at us and advised our taxi was waiting upstairs. He quickly disappeared. Upstairs? What upstairs? Apparently, we had missed this very important piece of information and given the fact that there was no one other worker around to ask, we were left to our own devices to figure out where 'upstairs' was. We were wandering through the busy restaurant trying to get someone's attention when I noticed a uniformed driver with a blue tooth waving madly from the narrow staircase in the corner. Huh... didn't notice it before. As he was turning to leave I managed to get his attention and followed him upstairs to the car park (we entered on the beach side). Little did we know we were in for quite a ride. More exact, "Mr Toad's Wild Ride" as Carol later commented as we were sliding back and forth in the back seat. Gotta love leather seats! I knew we had a good one. As in driver. As in why should I slow down around this corner when I can take it fast on two wheels? Never mind that we just ate a big dinner. Never mind the narrow streets, pedestrians, bicyclists, buses, scooters, other cars, or red lights. No doubt he believed the motto time is money as he quickly raced through the quaint neighborhood suburbs as if we were on The Amazing Race. Man, I wish! I could use a little excitement. Just like earlier in the day when we were trying to make the ferry and Carol is inserting her ticket upside down. "Carol, turn it around. TURN IT AROUND!" I screamed. Her hand starts shaking and the pressure was mounting. The ferry is going to LEAVE and we are going to miss it! This means... nothing. We will have to wait another 15 minutes for the next one. And then it hits me. There are no other teams in front of us and we won't be eliminated at the pit stop so exactly why am I yelling at Carol again? Okay, back to reality. We aren't on a TV show so we can relax and wait for the next one. But we made it. So it didn't matter after all. 


As the driver chats away on his blue tooth, I'm hanging on for dear life as he accelerates and slams on the brakes only to accelerate again. Fun times, riding in taxis. Makes you think about what is important as your life flashes before your eyes. Sure, I'm exaggerating but I have thought about the need for life insurance as a passenger. Some of these drivers are wound a little too tight so its no wonder their driving is reflective of this. It's also no wonder why I need a dose of Dramamine before entering the ride...err... taxi.


Some interesting tidbits on driving in the land of koalas and kangaroos. Despite my description above, most drivers rarely speed. The penalties for speeding are severe. Two tickets and you lose your license (yes, I'd pretty much be on a permanent bus pass if I were driving).Nor do they run red lights.  Police do not radar. Speeding is caught through speed cameras. And they are virtually everywhere. You can drink and drive. You can enjoy a beer whilst you drive along the motorway, no problem. However, the legal limit is 0.05. So you'd better not have more than one. The police may not radar, but they do set up drink driving check points. That's not a typo either. It is 'drink' driving verses drunk driving. They want to emphasize that if you drink, you should not drive. Rather ironic considering you can have an open container of alcohol in your vehicle. Taxi drivers must speak fluent English (although you could fool me on this one, many are very hard to understand and often have to repeat what they say many, many times). They must be in uniform. You, as a passenger, can tell them to turn on the radio or turn it off. Ditto with the heat or air con. Braking is an option and when applied will likely be immediate and without warning (think whiplash). Ha! Not really but you would think that was the rule. So I figured out where the saying comes from "get in, sit down, hold on, and shut up." Crazy ass taxi drivers. I guess that is all part of the experience but I would prefer to pass on this one. If I want to go on "Mr Toad's Wild Ride" I'll go to Disneyland. So please, Mr. Taxi Driver, slow down. I'm not in that big of a hurry!

An Evening at the Opera

My, don't I sound stuffy? Trust me, this isn't something I would normally sign up for however how can you resist seeing an opera at 'the' quintessential opera house of the world?


A brief history of this historical landmark... Jørn Utzon, a Danish architect won a contest for an opera house to be built on the Bennelong Point in Sydney Harbour in 1957. The virtually unknown architect was inspired by peeling an orange and designed his opera house to be a spherical shape if one took all the "sails" and put them together. Construction began in 1964 on the rib vaults of the shells. By 1966, the new government of New South Wales was dismayed at the rising costs, design, and schedule of the building. The liberal government stopped payment to the architect who was forced to quit. Utzon left Australia, never to return to see his masterpiece completed. The project was finally finished and opened by Queen Elizabeth II on 20 October, 1973. The Discovery Channel has a wonderful documentary on it and if you have the chance, you should watch it. It truly is a remarkable building, inside and out.

Good stuff!

We booked our tickets weeks ago for a Wednesday evening. Because Carol was co-facilitating all day, we had to find a quick bite to eat before Carmen. I asked a local co-worker for a recommendation for something close and more importantly... quick (dinner is typically a 3 hour event but we'll save that for another day). Tim suggested City View so I booked a table [with a view] for 5:30 (when I made the booking I was asked what kind of table I wanted. This threw me for a moment. My sarcastic mind immediately went to "the kind with a flat surface?" Was this a trick question? So I asked for the best available and she said "upstairs with a view" so there you have it). For a change, it really was quick and relatively inexpensive for Sydney (I won't go there in this blog either). In fact, we had plenty of time to meander around Circular Quay and have some gelatto from Gelatissimo. We also took pictures (you can never have too many of the bridge and the place we were going to). Carol asked a gentleman to take a photo of us with the bridge in the background but later when I checked, he never took one. Guess you need to check when relying on strangers to use your camera. Carol found a young couple from Scotland to do the honors. The lucky couple was taking a year's leave to travel the world before starting a family. We should all be so fortunate to figure this out before getting too overwhelmed with responsibilities. Most people who aren't American already know this.

Carol and I 

We succeeded in getting all the shots we wanted and proceeded inside 30 minutes before Carmen was to begin. It was hard not to be in awe as you walked in the door. It was crowded, elbow to elbow, mostly "older" people who were in line for a glass of wine. First stop was the toilet (sounds a little vulgar, right? Well, the Aussies think we are sissies for calling it a restroom or bathroom.) then time to find our seats. We were centre stage in dress circle but very high up. There were numerous high school aged students who were filling in with us but thankfully, they were no where near us. I did get to sit next to Murphy and play elbow war with the arm rest. He knocked my arm off numerous times until I finally leaned left and snuggled with Carol instead. This was in addition to laying his coat on my feet. As my sister would tell you, I attract these people. No, really, You have no idea! 

It's a long way down there!

Once I sat down I started to wonder if I would be able to stay awake. I joked about it earlier but now that I'm sitting down and starting to feel relaxed I realised how tired I was. Uh oh. Next I was wondering how I would follow along. I mean I took French in high school (a few years ago) and haven't used it recently. The good news is they now have "closed-captioned" so you can follow along (there is a small screen running along the top of the stage, rather handy actually). As soon as the orchestra started I realized I knew the music. You would too. It was amazing how many songs I recognised. If you aren't familiar with Carmen and would like to read a brief synopsis of the story click here: http://classicalmusic.about.com/od/opera/qt/carmensynopsis.htm Admittedly, opera is not my thing but I did enjoy this one a lot. Unfortunately, I did yawn quite a bit the last 45 minutes struggled as always to sit still in tight quarters but tried not to let either detract from the experience of a lifetime. 

Leaving the Opera House

After the numerous curtain calls (I commented to Carol we didn't have to worry about missing our cardio workout as it was exhausting to clap for 15 minutes), we were ready to head out into the madness with hundreds of people. It was a nice evening and the thunderstorm predicted never materialised so I opted to walk back to my hotel, about a 15-20 minute brisk walk. Carol and I parted company at George and Essex Streets. Up one street, down another. Repeat. Again. It seemed longer than normal and I was utterly exhausted when I made my way back to the Sheraton at Darling Harbour but couldn't sleep once I get finally fall into bed. Just about what you would expect. Oh but I was awake early. Again, about what you would expect. Had to get up and fly to Brisbane this morning to observe a new facilitator on Friday. This is where there was major flooding a short time ago. They have done a good job cleaning up the CBD area as I could find few signs of the flood. Most of the damage seems to be to plants, particularly palm trees who have dried up palm froms. Looking forward to getting back to Sydney tomorrow evening though. More fun times ahead!




And a special shout out to my boy, Jameson. He got hit in head by a classmate with a hockey stick in PE. When he got on the phone to tell me about it I asked him how he was going (Aussie for doing) and he said "I'm stable now. I suffered a blow to the head you know." He then said the boy who hit didn't mean it, it was an accident and he apologized. Jameson accepted his apology because he was "a nice kid like me." Talking to him makes me anxious to get home to see him and his sister. 

I'm Late... I'm Late... For a Very Important Date!

You ever have a feeling that something isn't right? Something you can't quite put your finger on but it's out there. Something. So I thought it might be my car service. When I was dropped off the previous week, the driver took my information for my pickup Sunday morning. He didn't instill confidence so I called last night to confirm. Good thing I did as he didn't have my reservation for pick up at 6am. I went to bed feeling better. And I woke up, the car service picked me up, got to the airport, my flight was on time and life was good. Ha ha ha! If you fell for that than... well, you haven't met me or my BFF Murphy. 

Sunrise at Melbourne Airport

I had one of those nights where I had trouble falling asleep. Eventually I did and woke up with a start. Immediately I knew I was in trouble before I even opened my eyes. I rolled over and looked at the clock. Sure enough, it was 6:02. Not the way you want to start your day. [Insert colourful expletive here.] I called downstairs and advised I'd be down in 10 minutes. Wouldn't you know it, when I got downstairs, the front desk was empty. Really, people? I just called downstairs to notify you that I was running late and would be right down. I find a staff person but he didn't speak English. Finally, the gal comes out of the closet [no, not that way] and checks me out. Meanwhile, the driver was loading my bags. He advised me to get in the back seat and he would "be right there." He proceed to use the restroom (why he didn't use it during the 15 minutes he was waiting for me, I'll never know). Fortunately (maybe?) my driver had aspirations to be Mario Andretti as he sped towards the airport at a rather alarming speed. I assured him my preference was to get there safely and of course, I didn't want him risking his license on my behalf (more on this in a later post).


The best piece of news is that Qantas did not charge me for my heavy bag and I had time to get my coffee before boarding my flight. After all the rushing around, I felt a big sigh of relief as I took my seat in steerage (this is how I feel on Qantas as I am always delegated to the back of the plane). Flying on Qantas is a somewhat different experience. The flight attendants board the passengers. There are always two who scan your boarding passes whilst there are two at the door of the flight to double-check that you are on the right flight and advise which aisle to use. They do not board by row or status. If you need extra time - good luck. It is an all aboard for all passengers. The plane typically fills quickly and I find that Aussies bring less carry-on bags (probably because they don't charge to check-in). The overhead lockers are rarely full so you don't have to worry about finding space to store your stuff. The safety video is introduced by John Travolta and has some humor in it ("by now, we all know how to operate a seat belt, however we are obliged to show you in case you forgot"). It also advises you on the emergency brace position because in the event of an emergency, you will need to know it "immediately" (apparently there is no refresher course if there is an ER... you are completely on your own). Can you reach the seat in front of you? If so, lean as far forward and rest your head on your arms. If not, place your head in your lap and grab your feet to keep them from moving forward on impact (really? If you crash at 200+ mph will you be able to keep your feet from moving? If you can, then I'm impressed that you can defy the physical force placed on your body). At any rate, I always think "bend over and kiss your ... goodbye! Once airborne, the seatbelt sign is off and you are free to move about the cabin. I find it interesting that the sign goes off roughly at 10,000 feet and the plane is still climbing to its cruising altitude and often even mid-turn. And they serve meals! At no charge! As we know, the US carriers either don't serve meals or charge for them (in economy) unless you are on an international flight. 


To me, the most amazing thing of all is the tolerance for people who are late. Often (as in almost every time), there are people who lollygag and do not board the plane with the rest of the passengers. You will hear announcement after announcement of individual(s) who are being paged to "immediately report to gate lounge number [whatever] as your flight is ready for an immediate departure." Even 10 to 15 minutes after the scheduled departure time you can hear people paged, or you are on a flight where someone has not boarded. In the US we leave those people behind. Not here. I did encounter one flight were after 30 minutes, they gave up on the bloke and then spent another 30 minutes trying to find his bag. Imagine finding one bag on a flight with 300 people in a cargo hold. Come to think of it, I guess I didn't need to hurry. I was checked in so I guess the flight could have just waited for me.


The tolerance level of most Aussies seems higher. They seem much more relaxed and have a tendency to not take things to seriously. In theory, this seems like a good idea but when things go wrong and they simply shrug their shoulders, you want to ring their bloody little necks. (Oh, did I just say that?) 


Surprisingly, both the Melbourne and Sydney domestic airports are quite small and quite rundown. The restrooms in particular have a lot to be desired. Think bus station or gas station. Both international terminals are quite lovely for tourists so I suppose that is the priority. Baggage service is about the same as you would find in the states. Slow and painful. One thing you can bet on is the queue for taxis will be long. I have learned to book a car service ahead. In Melbourne it is actually less expensive; in Sydney it is $20 AUD more. The best part is the drivers know where you are going and you pay a flat rate. Otherwise, you are relying on a non-native, non-English speaking Pacific Islander, Asian, or Indian to deliver you to where you want to go. My favourite part is when they ask you directions. Let's see... do I sound like I know where I'm going? Oh wait, I do know. But really, they expect you to give directions. Unrealistic in a high tourist area. 

Buying Chili Chocolates 

The Rocks Market

And thus began my morning. My room wasn't ready so I headed over to the Shangri-La to meet Denise and Carol. I felt very grungy and out of sorts when I arrived. It was cloudy but quite humid. The inevitable trail of water was running down my spine when I arrived. Lucky for me, Denise was staying at a five star hotel so she graciously offered me use of her shower so I was finally able to freshen up. The three of us ventured out to the area known as "The Rocks" to meander around the Sunday market and grab some lunch. We settled on an Italian cafe where we could people watch. The outing turned into quite the long walk as we circled around the harbour towards Darling Harbour. As we rounded the bend, there loomed a cruise ship (my ship again - the MS Volendam) so we were forced to walk up a hill and find our way back to the water's edge. Poor Carol at this point had blisters from her new sandles. After a brief stop at my hotel to get her band-aids, we jumped in a taxi to head back over to the Shangri-La for dinner and a movie.  At the end of the day, I had completely forgotten how bad my morning was. Although Denise and Carol thought I should take a taxi back, I opted to walk back to my hotel. I love walking through the city streets in the evening.


I sometimes cannot believe I'm working in one of the most amazing places in the world and how privileged I am to get this experience. Who would have ever thought I would be living down under? Certainly, not me. I thought my holiday in 2009 was my "one and done." Now I can't wait to see where I go next.

The Great Ocean Road

Yesterday I went out on my first solo tour to the Great Ocean Road. The scenery was beautiful and it was nice to take a day off and enjoy getting out of the city. The day started early and lasted until evening so I was wiped by the time I was dropped back off at The Blackman.

There were 24 people in the group, guided by Tracy. Representatives from England, Ireland, Brasil, The Netherlands, France, China, and of course, the good ol’ USA (I was the only one however). There were five others flying solo as well. Half the group were college-aged, six fresh out of “uni” (Aussie term). I learned a lot about the backpacking society through the stories they told as we cruised 550 kilometres around Southern Victoria. I can’t imagine staying in hostels, two to three in a bunk bed (often with complete strangers), sharing a bathroom, and not having any solid plans or place to stay. I suppose this is why one would do it in your youth. As you get older, it seems like you would want to know where you will be laying your head and where you will get your next meal.

Bells Beach

We set off from Melbourne CBD bright and early. It was a good thing that we were headed south and west as the traffic into the city was at a complete standstill for several kilometres (the downside of living on the west end – the trains and trams have not been extended into the newest suburbs). Most of the young ones fell asleep promptly as we headed towards our first destination – Geelong (Ja-long). I was surprised how large this ‘small’ city is. It was twice the size of Reno. Next it was Torquay (Tore-key), home of the Rip Curl Pro – the most sought after Surfing title. We stopped at Bells Beach, known for its surf and we weren’t disappointed. There were many out on their boards waiting for the perfect wave.

Next stop was Aireys Inlet and the Split Point lighthouse, built in 1890 after ten shipwrecks off the coast. After taking some photos and taking in the view we were back on the mini bus and off to Lorne (Lorn), Koala Cove, and Apollo Bay. By now, I had a great appreciation for the Great Ocean Road and the men who built it. The shoreline is mostly cliffs, but you do come across beautiful stretches of beach. Just off the beaches, are rocks that are hidden beneath the surface. You can understand why this is known as the Shipwreck Coast. There are hundreds of wrecks up and down the coast, although none are visible.

Split Point Lighthouse

Along the way we also spotted Koalas in the wild, kangaroos laying next to cows, and a lot of unique birds. Just off the coast are dairy farms providing the best milk in Victoria according to our Victorian-born tour guide. [Side note: the Aussies seem to take more pride in their home city/state than most Americans.]

We also stopped at the Maits rain forest trail and went on a short hike through the trees and ferns. It was significantly cooler and was a welcome relief. It is part of the Great Otway National Park (800 sq metres – big? Small? You tell me.). There are numerous hiking and mountain biking trails all along the Great Ocean Road. Aussies love the outdoors and camping and the area can be quite crowded in the summer months.

The 12 Apostles

Finally it was time for the helicopter ride. When we pulled into the car park, our guide asked who wanted to go on a helicopter ride. I was the only one out of the 24. I didn’t let that deter me as one of the best memories of my 2009 holiday was the helicopter ride over the Great Barrier Reef. The good news is I was a ‘single’ so I moved up to the front of the line and joined a couple from The Netherlands on holiday. Fortunately, I also got to ride in the front as a single. We were off and over the coastline in 2 minutes. We flew over London Bridge, Loch Ard Gorge and the 12 Apostles. Funny story as the original name of the 12 Apostles was the "sour piglets" but it was decided the name was grand enough nor inspirational so they turned to the Bible. What a spectacular sight from the air. It was a short 15 minute ride but worth every penny of the $75 fee. What a fun and interesting job to have. When I came back, there were 9 people from my group waiting to go up. They said I inspired them to go. This was good thing for me as I got to spend a lot of time roaming the trails along the tops of the cliffs.

London Bridge

Loch Ard Gorge

Back on the bus, we headed for London Bridge, an island that used to be connected to the mainland by a rock arch. It collapsed in 1990 stranding two people on the island who had to be rescued by helicopter. Imagine being stuck on a rock and watching your only way off collapse into the water 45 metres below you. The last stop was Loch Ard Gorge. It is named for a clipper than ran aground on nearby Muttonbird Island on 1 June 1878 after a three month voyage from England (it’s final destination was Melbourne). There were only 2 survivors, Tom Pearce  (a cabin steward) and Eva Carmichael (sailed with 5 family members immigrating to Australia), both 18 years old. Tom managed to get to shore but Eva was floating on debris. After rescuing her, they took shelter in a cave and eventually, Tom realised the only way out was to scale the cliffs. He managed to get out of the gorge and bring back help to get Eva out. Whilst many hoped for a romantic ending, Eva was too distrait to stay in Australia so she returned to England.

Eventually all good things must end as we boarded the bus for the long ride back to Melbourne. We were travelling inland and stopped at Colac for a quick dinner. After dinner, it started raining. It was like a cloud was overhead the entire drive back to the city but I counted myself lucky that we didn’t get one drop during the day. There wasn’t a lot of intermixing during the entire tour but on the ride home everyone was visiting and becoming fast friends. As luck would have it, I was the first one dropped off. By now it was raining hard and I could see the possibility of more flash floods (and there were some flash floods but not nearly as bad as the week before). I did enjoy the thunder and lightning from my balcony.

Best day playing hooky ever!

A Brief Commercial Message

Okay, I have to put this on the table. I have ADHD (born and raised on Ritalin, but haven't taken any meds in years). For those who have the ability to concentrate, be appreciative. It is not easy when your brain is wired differently and it is a daily... hour... maybe even minute-by-minute struggle to stay engaged in what you're doing. Even when I'm doing something I like, my brain is constantly misfiring and my thoughts are coming at me at the speed of light yet I can forget what I was thinking before I even finish a sentence. Can you just imagine what it would be like to have ADHD and dementia? Yikes! 


So my point is (and I do have one)...


I typically write my blog and post it. I always go back the next day and reread only to find that it often reads like the the rambling voice in my head. So, my advice to you is to look at the date and time and wait 24 hours. Otherwise, it is at your own peril. Of course, I could wait and post later but there's the whole impatient issue so that's not going to happen.


Now back to your regularly scheduled internet browsing...


PS - Anyone want to venture a guess how long it took me to write this short message??

The Ugly Truth

As I sit through another program, I am compelled to share some not so fun facts of Australia that aren’t in the tourist books. To be honest, I’m beginning to wonder if it’s me (yes, this is a rhetorical question). I’ve heard that there may be some life lessons I should be learning, but apparently I’m not getting the message as some pretty significant obstacles continue to get in my way.

Yummy [NOT]!

Take lunch today. Yes, I am well aware that I’m a picky eater. Old news. Whilst I’m willing to try food, it is not willing to try me. I continually run into opportunities to try new food however, it is rare that I find something I truly like. Texture is an issue for me. I have a very strong gag reflex and well, that's all you need to know. Trust me on this one. So our client serves sandwiches every day for lunch. There are heaps of choices (heaps – a top 10 favourite Aussie word) but all involve some form of spread that is mayonnaise-based and full of strange vegetables and/or meat by-products. The same sandwiches – cut in quarters and served on a tray. Day in, day out. Just sandwiches, nothing else. At times, there are pitchers of warm apple or orange juice (like the Europeans they have an aversion to ice, even when it is 90 plus outside). However, there is always hot tea and coffee. Even the heartiest of eaters have expressed dissatisfaction in the culinary delights provided so it is not just me. Honest! As usual, the program venue is located in a building in the CBD at a high level. You can count on it taking several minutes for the lift to arrive and I can guarantee that it will stop at every floor on the way down. Sigh. Today, I was in front (off to the side) yet I was the last one off the lift as the stampede behind me managed to push me towards the back (no small feat as I am typically quite agile and hold my ground or push forward as in this case). In general, I find myself to be very self-aware in public of where I’m walking, my pace, and potential barriers that can impede my progress. As the traffic here maintains keeping to the left, I have acquired the habit to do the same on the sidewalk as most of the general public does. Of course, you have those few who are totally oblivious to anything and everyone who seem to forget they are not the only ones on the planet. I side stepped no less than eight people on my way to the exit and body slammed no less than three others who were walking on the wrong side of the sidewalk. So again I wonder, is it me? Should I be the one to navigate around those who refuse to conform (typically younger people with their heads down looking at his or her phone)? Or should I continue to let them bump into me? Am I teaching them a lesson or are they supposed to be teaching me a lesson?

No smoking?!

Stepping outside, I was hoping to warm up but there is the cool breeze that blows in from Philip Bay that foiled my plans but I quickly ducked into McDonald’s next door. 

[Side note: Yes, I did swear that I would not eat at Macca’s (Aussie slang) this trip. However, if it is between McD’s and sandwiches, trust me, I chose the lesser of two evils for the short window I had to grab something.]

The place is crowded – as they all are – so I fell into line with the rest of the business suits to patiently wait my turn. I ordered three chicken strips and a Coke Zero for ‘take away’ as I was uncertain that I could find a place to sit. There were options outside but even if it were warm enough, I cannot stomach eating whilst people are smoking. And they smoke in Australia – a lot – in fact, a lot, a lot. It frustrates me that even when the conditions outside are ideal, the opportunity to sit outside in a smoke-free zone is pretty much non-existent. Even if a cafe posts a no smoking sign, typically they will move outside the seating area to smoke. (As a side note, I'm determined to get a picture of these smokers who stand and smoke under the sign a common occurrence!) And for some reason, the smoke doesn’t seem to understand that it is not suppose to cross that invisible line so it really makes no difference (perhaps the smoke can't read the sign? Yes, folks that is sarcasm). 

Messy, messy!

The other habit that I don’t understand is no one cleans up after themselves. It is amazing to me. I have never seen an Aussie pick up after themselves. I guess it is a cultural thing. There are rubbish bins for your garbage yet they go unused. Typically, you have to clean the table yourself. At least I do;  others just push it aside and sit down. Call me picky but I don’t want to sit at a counter with other people’s trash sitting next to me. Again, is it me or is it them? What is the lesson here?

So that is my bitch fest for today. Really, I’m not cranky – just wondering why I can’t seem to go with the flow and not be continually frustrated with people who are oblivious. I know I’m inpatient – I know this is a life lesson I need to conquer before I pass on – but there are those who continually challenge me in other areas and I wonder what I am suppose to be learning. I need to figure it out or I’m destined to make the same mistakes next time around.

Next time I promise to post the wonderful things about this amazing country (and there are many, many, many great and unique things to enjoy)!!

Baseball - Australian Style

After experiencing the record breaking heat wave in Sydney, I was looking forward to a little less intense kind of warm - the kind of warm that doesn't cause of a river of moisture to run down your spine and make you feel like the top of your head is sizzling. So, that didn't happen. Instead, it was rainy (as in flash flood. So much for those new shoes.). And windy (I wasn't fond of that hat anyway). And cool (as in not warm). Too cool for my taste. Strike one.

Didn't cross anything off the list this weekend. I did book a few things to-do in the near future but felt like I wasted a perfectly good weekend by not doing anything new. Or exciting. Or worth mentioning. Strike two.

The gymnasium (or fitness centre) magnet door locked up and could not/would not open. Guess what side of the door I was on? Enough said. Strike three. 

And honourable mention goes to... My next door neighbors are noisy. They speak in loud voices, spend a lot of time going in and out to the balcony and in general, just make a lot of banging noises. This is not a surprise. The shower door. As I mentioned before, the doors here are somewhat tricky (where we pull, they push... remember?). This particularly shower door is a no-win situation. Push or pull, it is impossible not to soak the floor. Did I mention the floor is tile? Slippage is a daily occurrence. 

On a happy note, it was Chinese New Year. Thank God, as I momentarily thought I had stepped out of the Woolworth's and into a riot. Then I figured out all the loud popping noises were not an attack but people celebrating the year of the Rabbit. Sounded like the year to buy ear plugs but I guess if you like loud noises that make it sound like you are in the middle of a war zone then this is the celebration for you. After passing on the bananas which were an amazing $5.98 a pound (thank you cyclone Yasi), I was going to head to the farmers market to see if I could find some fresh fruit that maybe cost a hand or maybe a foot rather than an arm and a leg. But the parade of people was a little too much for me so I opted to head back to the hotel and lock myself in the gym instead. 

The tram was overly crowded and I was challenged to maneuver with my 2 bags of groceries whilst stepping over prams, backpacks, and people in general to make it to the door before the driver decided that someone had pulled a fast one on him (you see, you have to pull a cord or push a button to signal the driver that you want him to stop). Just getting to the button was a challenge as I almost landed in a gentleman's lap. 

So I felt like I struck out this weekend as several intended plans fell through. And I figured out that tentative plans tend to remain just that. So, I proactively booked a tour of the Great Ocean Road for Thursday (best weather day for this upcoming week) and Mary Poppins tickets for Friday night. This still  leaves Saturday in Melbourne as I don't head back to Sydney until Sunday morning (early again... what was I thinking?!). All I know is that I have to figure it out soon or I'll be kicking myself once again for letting valuable time pass me by.