Get In, Sit Down, Hold On and Shut Up!

Watson Bay

One of the many things I love about being in Australia is not driving. No stress, no hassle, "leave the driving to us" type motto. Well, in theory anyway. The no stress part has been tested a few times, tonight being no exception. Carol and I went back to Doyles for dinner and watch the sunset over Sydney and the harbour. After a particularly hot day (and can I just mention it was snowing like crazy back at home which made it that much more sweet), we decided to make our way over to Watson Bay and enjoy the beach before our dinner reservation. 

We had taken the ferry over however since the last ferry was at 7pm and it was now close to 9pm, we had to grab a taxi back to the city. Unfortunately, there is not taxi rank in the suburbs so we wandered back to the restaurant to have someone call for a cab. Our waiter has someone ring for a taxi and then he instructed us to sit at our table until it arrived. We mentioned that we would be happy to wait elsewhere and he said no, we must wait at our table. After sitting at this table for a few hours it wasn't exactly what I had in mind but he insisted so back we went and sat at our table still filled with our dirty dishes. [Insert exasperated sign here] It felt like an eternity but finally the waiter waved at us and advised our taxi was waiting upstairs. He quickly disappeared. Upstairs? What upstairs? Apparently, we had missed this very important piece of information and given the fact that there was no one other worker around to ask, we were left to our own devices to figure out where 'upstairs' was. We were wandering through the busy restaurant trying to get someone's attention when I noticed a uniformed driver with a blue tooth waving madly from the narrow staircase in the corner. Huh... didn't notice it before. As he was turning to leave I managed to get his attention and followed him upstairs to the car park (we entered on the beach side). Little did we know we were in for quite a ride. More exact, "Mr Toad's Wild Ride" as Carol later commented as we were sliding back and forth in the back seat. Gotta love leather seats! I knew we had a good one. As in driver. As in why should I slow down around this corner when I can take it fast on two wheels? Never mind that we just ate a big dinner. Never mind the narrow streets, pedestrians, bicyclists, buses, scooters, other cars, or red lights. No doubt he believed the motto time is money as he quickly raced through the quaint neighborhood suburbs as if we were on The Amazing Race. Man, I wish! I could use a little excitement. Just like earlier in the day when we were trying to make the ferry and Carol is inserting her ticket upside down. "Carol, turn it around. TURN IT AROUND!" I screamed. Her hand starts shaking and the pressure was mounting. The ferry is going to LEAVE and we are going to miss it! This means... nothing. We will have to wait another 15 minutes for the next one. And then it hits me. There are no other teams in front of us and we won't be eliminated at the pit stop so exactly why am I yelling at Carol again? Okay, back to reality. We aren't on a TV show so we can relax and wait for the next one. But we made it. So it didn't matter after all. 


As the driver chats away on his blue tooth, I'm hanging on for dear life as he accelerates and slams on the brakes only to accelerate again. Fun times, riding in taxis. Makes you think about what is important as your life flashes before your eyes. Sure, I'm exaggerating but I have thought about the need for life insurance as a passenger. Some of these drivers are wound a little too tight so its no wonder their driving is reflective of this. It's also no wonder why I need a dose of Dramamine before entering the ride...err... taxi.


Some interesting tidbits on driving in the land of koalas and kangaroos. Despite my description above, most drivers rarely speed. The penalties for speeding are severe. Two tickets and you lose your license (yes, I'd pretty much be on a permanent bus pass if I were driving).Nor do they run red lights.  Police do not radar. Speeding is caught through speed cameras. And they are virtually everywhere. You can drink and drive. You can enjoy a beer whilst you drive along the motorway, no problem. However, the legal limit is 0.05. So you'd better not have more than one. The police may not radar, but they do set up drink driving check points. That's not a typo either. It is 'drink' driving verses drunk driving. They want to emphasize that if you drink, you should not drive. Rather ironic considering you can have an open container of alcohol in your vehicle. Taxi drivers must speak fluent English (although you could fool me on this one, many are very hard to understand and often have to repeat what they say many, many times). They must be in uniform. You, as a passenger, can tell them to turn on the radio or turn it off. Ditto with the heat or air con. Braking is an option and when applied will likely be immediate and without warning (think whiplash). Ha! Not really but you would think that was the rule. So I figured out where the saying comes from "get in, sit down, hold on, and shut up." Crazy ass taxi drivers. I guess that is all part of the experience but I would prefer to pass on this one. If I want to go on "Mr Toad's Wild Ride" I'll go to Disneyland. So please, Mr. Taxi Driver, slow down. I'm not in that big of a hurry!